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Dear Friends,
With all the screaming and let's say passionate debates in the news about Obama's health care plan, I'm starting to feel that the main point of the plan is getting lost.  I'm seriously in question about what the plan actually says and while the media is covering the "strong feelings" on both sides, nobody is actually giving any facts on the issue, only presumptions and assumptions about the intent of this issue.

There are two major concerns I have regarding this issue:

1.  I have heard it said many times that you should "do something, even if it's wrong." At least Obama is doing something to fix this debacle of a healthcare system.  Ever been denied care because of something you have NO control over?  Then you know where I'm coming from.

2.  This is by no means a "done deal," to borrow a cliche.  This thing, it seems, is under constant revision, so let's all just take a collective deep breath, sit back, relax, and try to keep open mind and ears before we go screaming and yelling at each other based on extremist radio hosts and negative lobbying by the insurance industry.  Get the facts first.  If you have question, ask them by all means but do so from a place of being informed, not afraid.

Finally, to the media, give us information we can use, not fear mongering, or advertising one way or the other.  We need clear, reliable, concise information before we can engage in conversation and discussion rather than passionate debate.

I just didn't have the heart

Today, for the first time in almost seven years, I went to the eye doctor.  Nothing wrong, really just an adjustment to my prescription. I went to the Hour Eyes in Pentagon City and asked if they took walk-ins.  When they said yes, I told them I haven't had a check up in how long and they gave me paperwork.  After completing that, I waited maybe fifteen to twenty minutes to finally see a doctor.  I got all the usual stuff. 

Then it was time for the realization that my prescription needed adjusting.  I knew that was a possibility but it would also mean buying new glasses.  I knew my insurance would cover a lot of it (as it turned out, more than half) so that was a relief, but before looking for new frames I asked if it was possible to fit my new lenses into my new frames. They gave my frames a once over then pointed out why it would be impossible.  Part of me wanted to tell them that my lenses are dated back to 2001 but the frames I got about four years ago at a different Hour Eyes location., but I just didn't have the heart to say it. 

Anyway, I bought the new glasses and they will be ready in two weeks.  Unfortunately that's also the day of my favourite community service project, Christmas in April.  GRRRRRRRR 

Would you contribute?

Today the school hosted a billionaire organization so the staff and students were banned from the cafeteria, school gymnasium, and the staff from the staff lounge and certain restrooms. Plus we were "encouraged" to go on outings with our students today. All in hopes that this organization would somehow contribute money to the school. It all seemed counter-productive to me: if the staff and students are to be treated as embarrassments, I wouldn't contribute a single red penny, especially as this is a "philanthropic" organization.  Wouldn't they want to know their contributions would be maximized by seeing how a typical day flows.  Additionally, as a philanthropist, I would want to make sure that the money I'm giving goes to a school where both staff and students are treated as worthy human beings.

More work issues

Ok, let's get one thing clear.  I do not go to work for the liking and approval of one particular co-worker.  I am not there for a popularity contest.  I am there to do a job and I am doing the best I can for right now under extraordinary circumstances.  There is at least one thing every day at which I fail spectacularly, but it's not about going in already knowing everything; if I thought for a second that I did know everything, there would be no need for me to go back to school in the fall.  If I thought I knew everything I would never admit that I was wrong, and I AM ok with being wrong; honestly I'd better be or else we'd have other issues.  However, I go to work every day and make a concerted effort, not to annoy a certain co-worker (regardless of what she might think), but to be a little more aware, a little quicker, a little sharper, a little more team-oriented than I was the day before.  That "She tries!" was a huge recognition not of me being perfect, but how much I already do (which must be adequate though by no means "above and beyond the call of duty") and that I'm making an effort to make small steps every day in the right direction.  Effort means everything!

Self-fulfilling prophesies

Definition:


Self-fulfilling prophecy (n.)- A belief in a certain outcome held so strongly that one either consciously or unconsciously creates the conditions which would bring about that result. Most often seen in relation to research studies. See alsocynicism

Say, for instance, you work at a certain school. This school has an extraordinarily high rate of turnover, for a lot of very valid reasons. Now, because of this very high rate, remaining employees come to expect every person who comes in to almost immediately turn around and leave again. After all, past experience would show this expectation to be quite valid. How many times can you see the same situation and the same conditions and not expect the same outcome? Isn’t the very definition of insanity "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?"

Naturally, a person remaining in the difficult situation would find it very hard to open up to anyone else coming in, much less a caring, hard-working, admittedly very weird and occasionally annoying person who genuinely wants to work, learn, and help, but herself has a lot of trouble adjusting and fitting in in a very new and different environment. But because this new employee is so weird and because veterans and students alike have already come to expect people to leave, particularly someone who is seemingly having a lot of trouble adjusting, neither is giving the other much of a chance. The veterans find it hard to see and trust the "new" person’s experiences and instincts, and as a result, the newbie is finding it hard to be receptive to her own experiences and instincts and those of the veterans; creating, therefore a hostile environment for all and one which would certainly lead to said self-fulfilling prophesy: the turnover rate. It’s a vicious cycle.

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For my friends

What I am about to say is probably going to shock you at first, even puzzle or vex you.  But rest assured, things are seldom what they seem.

I have been living a life of excess; not of drugs, sex, and rock and roll., but of caring too much about my image, what others think of me and of taking on obligations that I probably shouldn't under present circumstances.  My closest friends will understand my meaning.  

I have been through a lot with current events (my new job not being the least of it) and for a lot of reasons, having not been caring for myself, my real self the way I should.   I will not be giving up my social life entirely, I still want to go out and have fun with my friends, but it will, henceforth be scheduled around a certain appointment I have Saturday mornings.  I will not be taking on any new obligations, therefore, that conflict with this appointment without advace arrangements being made.  The one things I need more than anything else right now is to learn to give myself the care and love all beings deserve.  This means that I need to relearn that I am worthy of that self-care and love. 

This is nothing new, I've been going through this process for nearly two years now, in the care of a professional, but major changes and stresses have made it more important than ever.  I think a lot of you have been able to tell lately in my moods that I haven't quite been myself.  Hence why I need to be more picky about what and how much I do.  I need to return to old hobbies that require me to be creative and expressive and others that help me to be more calm, centered, whole and human.

I'm not asking for everybody to understand or even like this, just to accept and support it.  Thanks, as always, for your friendship and support.

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Hi, I'm Gina.

Hello.
I have friends on here already I think.  I'm going to use this account whenever Myspace is being stupid, which is most of the time, I think.

The basics for those who don't know me:

Name: Gina
Age: 27
Occupation: Special education classroom aide
Political Views: Liberal Democrat
Religious affiliation: Unitarian Universalist
Career Goal: Special education teacher
Website: http://www.myspace.com/uugina
Alternate blog site: http://blog.myspace.com/uugina
Favourite Hobbies: Debating, disagreeing with anything and everything, getting people to think, reading, thinking, laughing, writing, hiking, yoga, meditation.
More About me:
  • I won't discuss my religious views unless asked to do so.  You may feel free to ask, but I won't preach, proselytize, or evangelize. I like where I am spiritually but don't think that one size even fits most. One must find where one belongs in one's own time and in one's own way.
  • I have a relatively small group of very close friends: people whom I've warmed up to slowly over time and gotten to know and love intimately.  I don't think of myself as shy; I prefer "slow to warm up ." 
  • I love music  I read music for playing the flute but sing by ear.
  • Life is already complicated, so i try not to make things harder than they have to be.  Sometimes I fail miserably
  • I'm usually smart, funny, and friendly, but I don't tolerate stupidity or ignorance.  I can get along with just about anyone but can't stand hateful, discriminatory language against any one person or group of people.
  • I have no problem correcting people should they use inappropriate language in certain environments, like using bad grammar in school.
  • You are under no obligation to agree with me or even like me, but I do ask that you use respectful language at all times should you leave a comment.  If you don't like what I have to say, that's alright by me in fact I don't want everybody to agree with me.  One person in the world with my views is more than enough. You are also under no obligation to read my journal.
That said, I appreciate any and all feedback.  I don't apologize for all I've said, and I'm sure I've come off as a bit of a b*%$!. Well, we shall see how accurate first impressions are.  ;-) For now, this is Gina bidding you many Blessings wherever life takes you.